Was it/Is it worth it?

Since I have been back, I have been asked in different forms, was it worth it for me to have gone to Honduras. The obvious answer is yes it was - and since I am going back, it still is worth it. It irritates me somewhat though, when I tell people yes it was worth it, that they don't believe me. Oh you are just saying that so that you dont have to admit defeat. And that isn't it at all. There was a big adjustment period that we all had to go through, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that bad. It could have been alot worse.

I still get the whole what are you doing to your children line of questioning, and then I get an attitude when I give them an honest answer. I am giving my children a chance at a family. Me being here in the US, along with the kids, and my husband in Honduras - what kind of family life is that? I know that there are people who are living this way right now, and it is so hard, and it certainly isn't a long term solution. I am also giving my children a chance to see how other people live. I am a big believer that traveling, and experiencing other countries is a HUGE educational experience. While they are being homeschooled (I love SONLIGHT), they are also going to a (private) Honduran school. Why both you ask. I think that even though the Honduran school is below US educational standards, it is a way to re-inforce spanish in a way that I cannot. My children can learn to speak it with the correct grammar, as well as write it and read it. Next year Andre will begin his career classes in his school. He is at an age that come next school year he can choose a career and they will begin to teach him that. He is looking into Auto Mechanics right now, but he has a whole year to decide. Again, learning a trade while in Honduras could help him when he comes back to the US for college. He will have some education in a trade where he can work while going to college. (unfortunately he wants to learn Marine Biology - and that just isnt a career that they teach in the Honduran high school system, LOL).

Everytime someone asks me if it was worth it, I sit back and I think about the 8 months that I was there. Even with all the issues that we had to deal with - and there were alot - alot more than I have posted on here - and each and everytime the answer is yes.

I love to hear the little ones speak spanish now. I love how to them (and to me - because if you are going to move to Honduras you HAVE to be able to look at things this way) that everything is an Adventure. A month with no running water, no problem. It is raining hard enough that we can all take a shower out back. Lather up, and let the rain do the rinsing. Or the creek is right up the street - perfect place to take a bath. We need to wash the dishes? Load them up in a bucket, and haul it up to the creek to wash. Kids adapt to just about everything, and mine are no exception. And I am proof that adults too can adapt.

Growing up anytime my mom asked for help in her garden, I always told my mother that my hands were not made to touch dirt. Flowers are pretty and nice and all, but I am not a garden person. However I now have a notebook filled with plans for garden when I get back. Granted its for a vegitable garden to help cut down on our food costs, and to help up the amount and varieties of veggies we eat, but it is still a garden. I am nervous to begin this garden because I have no clue what I am doing, but again - everything is an adventure. I hope to get my kids involved with it so that they can learn how to garden and can teach there friends and others.

This move has changed me in so many ways. It has made me think about so many different things. But more importantly, I found my home. A place where I feel at ease, where I feel content. And it actually has nothing to do with my husband being there. There was a time when we were first adjusting to everything, we had some major issues, and there were days that I asked myself did I move thousands of miles just to end up thinking of divorce. And I did some major thinking about if my husband and I were to seperate, and the one thing that was clear was I was at home. Even if we did seperate, or something like that, I would not leave Honduras. I would not leave my home.

I still feel that way - not about leaving my husband, we worked through our issues, LOL - but about Honduras being my home. I know my mother is here, and my brothers (ok my sisters too - but they don't count since they dont talk to me) and my extended family are here. I also know that this is where I was born and raised. Laurel is my hometown, but it isn't my home. I don't feel comfortable here anymore. I don't feel at ease anymore. I feel like a visitor, and that is what I am. I just want to go home.

I asked the little ones still in Honduras (Mickey, Isa, Johan, and Lana) if they wanted to come to America, or stay in Honduras and this is what they said -

• Mickey said that she wanted to stay in Honduras but she wanted to have someone she knows stay in America so that they can send stuff she wants in the mail. Especially macaroni and cheese, and chocolate cupcakes and play food and dress up clothes.
• Isa said she wants to stay in Honduras but she wants (these) special cupcakes from America.
• Johan said he wants to ride in the airplane again but still stay in Honduras. (guess he just wants to fly from La Ceiba to San Pedro to Tegucigalpa then back again??)
• Lana - she didn't answer my question, she just kept telling me that she wasn't done talking to me yet, LOL.

I then asked the older two about going back to Honduras, and suprise suprise,

• Jordan said she is ready to go back. I thought for sure she was going to say she wasn't ready yet. She hates to say good-bye to her friends (dont we all?) but she misses her life in Honduras she said. Which really and honestly suprised me. I thought for sure she would have said no she wasnt ready. But I do know she misses her brothers and sisters in Honduras. I also know she wishes that she hadn't left early to spend that extra time up here with her father. (She wasn't supposed to come to the US to visit her dad until November, but he was in Guatemala in August and asked if he could take her for those extra 3 months since she wasn't in school down there yet, and I said yes. So instead of being with him from Nov. - Jan, she was with him from August to January. Before this she has never been away from me for that long, and that far. It was VERY rough on her, and very hard. It also wont happen again.)
• Andre is ready to go back, but he wants to wait another month so that he can finish out the school year. The school has accelerated his classes so that he can complete his school year before we leave, but he will be missing out on a couple of fun field trips and a dance. And he has to say good-bye to Madison, his 'giiiiiirl-friend'. (oh how I love to give him a hard time about having a girlfriend) Sadly though, I cannot wait until the end of the school year. We bought the tickets in January for May 5th - and at the time that I bought the tickets he was not going to be going back with me, but staying with my mom for another school year. But things change, and he is going back with us. He keeps talking about all the fishing he is going to do, and his machete's and bike and how he will get to see Pedro again and so much other stuff. So he is excited too.

My mom is even going back with me for 10 days. When she comes back, she can maybe post a guest blog about her experiences and what she thought about our life. (she will be back on her birthday. Poor mom, saying good-bye to all the grandkids and spending the day flying, and then landing at 2AM on your birthday. Having to spend your birthday recovering from vacation)

Twitter...

I just signed up for twitter for when I am back in Honduras. I may not always be able to get online (as we all know, LOL) but I always have my cell phone, so I can update twitter when I am not able to update my cell.

Some Random Thoughts

Operation Shoebox

"The way out of poverty is education." by Jose Mariano Castillo. When I read the linked article, this quote really struck me, because it is so true. (read the article - its a great story) I have been thinking - for a long time - about a way to help out people in Honduras, and among a few other ideas, education is one of them. I have alot of ideas in my head that are just sort of bouncing around, and I need to sit down and get them on paper. But one of the things that I want to do is to make it easier for the kids in my area of Honduras to go to school. As you all know, I live in a mountain town of Honduras. Which also means a poor town of Honduras. While the schooling is free, being able to go to school is not. Each child needs to buy a daily uniform, as well as a uniform for PE day. There are different shoes that are needed for the day to day schooling, as well as for PE day. Then there are the supplies. To start out with, I would like to somehow help out the kids to go to school by being able to give them a backpack with the needed school supplies. Eventually I would like to try to find sponsers to help out the highest acheiving children in each grade to maybe pay for a private school for the kids - the ones who show that they want it by their grades. (Private school per month is between $40 for elementary school, and $80 for the higher grades), plus the cost of uniforms and supplies. But that is in the future. For now though, I ask you all that read this - think about your house, and your car and your desk at work. How many pens and pencils do you have floating around? How about those free pens you get from the bank or from wherever else. How many pens do you really need. Why dont you get a shoe box and just start to throw the pens in the shoe box. Then when it gets full ship it to my mom and she will ship it to me to be given to the kids in the school. If you have the urge, and funds and want and see a box of crayons on sale, or pencils, or rulers, or any other school supply and want to pick it up and stick in the box, that would be great too. At a later date I will post a wishlist of items on one of my side bars, as well as an address to send them to if you feel the need. It would be wonderful if every child at the school would have what they need to begin the new school year next year. Keep an eye out for an upcoming blog with more information, as well as the notification of the wishlist on the sidebar.

There are a total of 80 children that go to school at the local school. I would love for them all to be able to continue to go to school next year as well.

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I can't wait to get home. Not just because I miss my family, but more so that I can take charge of my kids again. No one can raise your children like yourself. During the week, my inlaws take care of the little ones while Lale is at work. Unfortunately that isn't a good thing. They love my children, but they let my children get away with so much. And there is no discipline - until Lale comes to pick them up. Well kids need discipline right then and there when something happens.

See, my sister in laws kids live with my in-laws. Because my sister in law in here in the US, and their father isn't in the picture (hasn't been except for when they were first born) everyone felt sorry for them. So they had no discipline growing up. Now at 15 and 17 they are horrible. They have no respect for my in-laws, who have been the ones raising them for the last 12 years. The words that come out of their mouths when they talk to eachother and others is horrible, and my kids are picking that up. And because no one will spank them, or do anything except say wait until your papi gets here, my kids are becoming horrible.

Today, while I was talking to Mickey, Isa was in the background, mad because she was told to sit down, so she told Jessica (the 15 yr old daughter of my sister in law) callate cara de burro - which means shut up donkey face. While I was laughing on the inside - because really when you hear someone call someone else a donkey face, its a bit funny - I was mad because Isa knows better. And this isn't the first time she has called people names. She told my father in law that he was a burro que come basura - a donkey that eats trash. She likes to tell the neighborhood kids that they are stupid, and just a bunch of stuff that she knows better. I got all over her case today and had her crying for acting like that. But that isn't going to do anything to stop it. Nothing is going to happen until I am there again full time, and lay down the law.

I am having the same issue with Johan too. But at least on his part, he doesn't know what he is saying. He repeats what my sister in laws daughters say to my mother in law. And in one way its worse - way worse than being called a donkey - but in another way its just a bit better because he is just repeating what he hears, and he has no clue that what he is saying is really bad. (I am not even going to put it on here, what he says)

They are going to hate life when I get back, because I so don't put up with that crap. And I refuse to allow my children to become like their cousins. I refuse to let my children just run amock and do what they want and come and go as they please, and just turn into hellions. Out of all of the cousins, (in Honduras) none of them are really disciplined. And that pisses me off. Kids who are left to do what they want, usually dont get better as they get older, they get worse. But whatever. To each his own I guess.

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I keep thinking what is wrong with me - why am I so stressed about moving to Honduras - AGAIN. Then I realized, it was my way of thinking. I am not moving to Honduras again. I am not moving back to Honduras either. I never moved from Honduras, I just left for a 4 month vacation. (If you can call having a baby vacation, LOL). The only thing I have to do is get Ari's birth certificate, and get some summer clothes for Levi. Everything else can be done in Honduras. If I get a chance, then I want to go shopping and pick up a bunch of stuff that I want for the house, but other than a squeegie and a mop bucket, I don't NEED anything that is on my list.
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My in laws had their appointment today at the US embassy in Honduras, and they were approved for a visa!! They will be here in the US to visit my sister in law, my brother in law and other family sometime later this month. I am so happy for them. They finally get a break.

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And finally, a more recent picture of Ari. This was taken earlier this week.

Honduras 3 - 1 Mexico

On the road to the World Cup, once again Honduras beat Mexico.

http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/114/mexico/2009/04/02/1187472/honduras-deal-mexico-costly-defeat

I am sure that there is tons of celebrating going on in the streets of Honduras right about now. Wish I was there too ;)

Only 33 more days to go, and I will be there.

Kitchen Sink Cooking

Welcome to the first (and probably only) episode of Kitchen Sink Cooking. (I am calling it kitchen sink cooking, because that is how I cook. I make a recipe, then begin adding all sorts of things to the recipe that originally wasn't there - I can add everything including the kitchen sink) I would like for this to become a weekly recipe thing, but I know me, and I also know that there are only 34 more days left until I go back to who knows when internet, but maybe I can get at least another two or three episodes of KSC.

I am not the best cook. I make certain things really well, but they are special meals, not everyday meals. For instance, I make an awesome lasagna and cheesecake. But it isnt something that I can make on an everyday basis. Not even on a weekly basis - it costs to much money. Another thing I do well is I cook for alot of people really well. When I have to cook for one or two people it never works out right. So I guess its good that I have so many kids - I can cook for an army all the time.

While in Honduras I lost alot of weight. 50ish pounds. And it wasnt due to any parasite either. At first it was because it was so hot that I just didn't want to eat. And add to that I had a bunch of work that I had to do, and get used to doing, that when it came time for everyone to eat, well I got everyone elses food ready and handed out, and by the time everyone had there plate, people were bringing their empty plates in the kitchen to be washed. So I would clean up the dishes and the kitchen and tell myself that I would eat when I was done. Then by the time I was done, I no longer was hungry, or I was just to tired to eat. Then I got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant right after my surgery, and poor Jordan was doing alot of the cooking (reheating) and because I was in the bed, I was out of sight, out of mind. I didn't want to make it any harder on her, so I wouldn't bother her about not eating. When I was really hungry, I would send her to the pulperia to get a cup o noodles soup, and that is what I would eat for the day. But that was ok to me because at the beginning of my pregnancy I just didn't want anything really. I didn't get sick, I just passed my days semi nausous. Then later in the pregnancy I would have cravings for certain foods, and they wouldn't be available. (Cheddar cheese was one of them). And if I couldn't eat what I was craving, then I wouldn't eat. Because if I tried to eat what I wasn't craving, I would just throw it up. There were times when all I had was some hard cheese over some fresh fried tortillas. The last month or so that I was in Honduras all I had was potatoes and ketchup. I would fry a potato just so that I could eat Don Julio's Ketchup. I went through a gallon of ketchup in two weeks. It wasn't until I got back in the US did I realize that it was what I was eating (or lack there of) that caused so much of my hair to fall out. Ari was taking all the nutrients she needed, and in doing so, she was causing my hair to fall out. (now I look super sexy - its growing back in, and so all around my head it is sort of fluffy looking under my thin thin hair, LMAO)

Now that I know what is available, and at a good price for us in Honduras, I am taking advantage of being in the US and looking up recipes that will work well in Honduras. I thought I would post them here for you. I would like to say that it will be a weekly post, but I know better. I have a bunch of recipes to share though, so we will see.


Today's recipe is Honduran Coconut Bread.

I got the original recipe from Olancho Bound Gringa's blog, and I like how easy it seemed to be, and it had ingredients that are readily available in Honduras so I decided to make it the other day.

When I first made it, I took the original recipe and doubled it. I also made some adjustments to it. I didn't have shortening, so I used olive oil. And I used splenda instead of sugar. Also in the directions - it says baking soda in the ingredient list, and baking powder in the instructions - and I used baking soda.

So I mixed up the batter, and put it in the pans. The batter made 3 loaves of bread. I made one loaf plain coconut, one loaf with dried cranberries, and one load with more splenda and cinnamon added to it. Then I decided to taste them. The plain coconut one wasn't to great. It tasted of baking soda. (and when I was putting the 8 tsp in, I had to open a new box of baking soda, and I may have added 1 tsp to much to the batter). The cinnamon and extra splenda was better, but still had the baking soda flavor to it. (I mixed up one batter, then split it into 3 different mixes). Then we tried the dried cranberry loaf. YUM. It was eaten up almost right away. The cranberries took away the baking soda flavor.

A side view of the three loaves that I made

The plain coconut bread

The cinnamon loaf that I made. It isn't burnt, its just the cinnamon.

A view of the cranberry loaf.

Because I wasn't sure if the baking soda flavor had to do with me possibly adding 1 tsp to much, or if I should have used baking powder instead. So I went online and looked up what the difference was between the soda and powder, and decided that I was going to use baking powder in my next attempt. I also thought that since this would be for my family, muffins would be much better for my kids than a loaf that you would have to slice. If they were in muffin form, the kids could just grab one and go.

With all of that information, I went shopping, picking up some other items to make different versions of the coconut bread.



The ingredients used in todays muffins.


Here is the recipe, with the amounts, that I used (I tripled it because of my family size)

• 6 cups of flour
• 2 cups of sugar (and I used sugar the second time around)
• 8 tsp baking powder
• 4 tsp baking soda
• 1 tbsp salt
• 4 1/2 cups of milk (although I accidently misread the original amount, so that when I multiplied it by 3, I made it 6 cups of milk. oops)
• 2 tbsp melted shortening
• 1 tbsp vanilla
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 3 cups coconut
• *dried pineapple
• **crushed pineapple
• ** marachino cherries
• ***dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

1. Sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
2. Add shortening, milk and vanilla. (note to self, either warm the milk a little bit, or do not mix the shortening into the milk. Think about it. Melted shortening, being mixed into cold milk equals no longer melted shortening. Yeah, thats what I did.)
3. Add in the beaten egg and coconut.
4. Bake at 350 for 1 hour in a greased loaf pan****.

* Pina Colada Muffins - I added dried pineapple to part of the coconut bread batter to make what I call the PC muffins. They were yummy. I had 12 ounces of dried pineapple that I cut up and added to the batter. However, I also had a 16 month old snacking on the pineapple while I was cutting it up. So I would say maybe 8 ounces of the dried pineapple actually made it into the batter.

Levi helping me seperate the dried pineapple. Some for the bowl, some for his mouth.

The dried pineapple - what was left after Levi.

The Hawaiin muffins on the left, the Pina Colada ones on the right.

Hawaiin ones on the bottom, Pina Colada on the top.

Pina Colado on the left, Hawaiin on the right.

** Hawaiin Muffins - I only call them Hawaiin muffins because when I thought of coconut, the cherries and pineapple together it makes me think of Hawaii. This one is my favorite out of all of the different muffin variations I made today. These muffins were extra moist due to the liquid from the crushed pineapples. (I did drain them, but obviously I wasn't able to take all of the liquid out, which was fine)

Here is the crushed pineapple and cherries all cut up and mixed together.

And the reason why, if you are going to cut the cherries you should wear gloves. (can you see how pink my fingertips are?)

***Dried Cranberries - I just mixed in a bunch of dried cranberries with some plain batter, just like I did with the bread.

And here are the cranberry coconut muffins. In the background are the Pina Colada muffins as well as the plain coconut muffins.

**** When I made it originally, I found that 1 hour at 350 was to long. BUT my moms oven has issues, so I don't know if it really was to long, or if it was the oven. When I made the jumbo muffins today it took them approx 25 - 30 minutes to cook. So when you make this bread, make sure you keep an eye on it, and on the clock to see if you have to adjust the time, or if it was just my moms crazy oven.