Its hard being a mother

I know that a lot of people talk about the hard work it is being a mother. But to me, I don't think it is. Its a lot of stuff, it's never ending, but it isn't hard. I have ten children. Eight of them my own. Eight of them raised from birth. Its been an adventure, but for me it's been easy being a mom. And don't get me wrong, I know that other people have different experiences that I do, and I am not bashing them, or anything else by any means. This is just my opinion on my reality. So please take no offense.

Note though, I said I don't think it is hard work being a mother. It is hard to be a mother. There is a difference there, you see. As a mother, you give and sacrifice and do all that you can for your children. You go without so that your children can 'go with'. But even that is part of your everyday life as a mother. And to me, even that isn't hard.

What is hard is when your children are in pain, or are hurting in any way, shape or form. But especially when they are hurting on the inside. When their hearts are in pain. That's when being a mother gets hard. This past year or so I have had to let go, watch one of my daughters cry, more than once, over the lack of responsibility of her father, seen other of my children cry for various reasons, due to lack of understanding, or due to hurtful things said by other children. That is when it gets hard.

The most recent was Friday. The kids called, and I told Mickey Happy Birthday, because two days earlier, she had just celebrated her 11th birthday. I was sad because I wasn't there for her birthday, and when I talked to her, she sounded really sad. It broke my heart, and when she started to cry and tell me that she missed me, I just wanted to curl up in a ball. My baby girl was crying, and I was the cause of the pain. It didn't matter that it couldn't be helped, it still broke my heart.

Micaella, December 10, 2014

A few weeks ago when after Andre left for boot camp, I was watching videos online of boot camp, and I cried. I didn't want some person in my sons face screaming at him. I cried because, while I know it is a necessary part of military training, someone was in my sons face. And I'm not there to scream back at this person. (Andre would die of embarrassment if I was, and did that lol)

Andre, 3rd from left, in the chow line during basic

This past year other of my children have cried because some other kids have hurt their feelings, or their father said or did something to hurt their hearts, and as a mom, you feel that hurt, magnified 100 times. That's what is hard about being a mother.

All you can do though is give them a hug, and give them the tools they need to deal with this hurt. This world is a hurtful place. And at some point you have to let the kids go. You have to have faith that you have taught them the right way to act and the right way to react to something. You have to have faith that everything you have instilled in them these past 18 plus years will override the negative influences of the world around them. You have to be able to take a step back and let those children go where they feel they need to go, and do what they feel they need to do. Hardest of all, you have to be able to let your children make mistakes. Let your children learn life the hard way sometimes. You can give them advice, but in the end the decision is theirs, and they are the ones who have to live with the consequences. You can be there for them when they need you, (as a mother, you are there for them always, are you not?) you can comfort them and you can support them always, and unconditionally. That really is what being a mother is all about.

That's a lot of what God does for us. He raises you in the faith and teaches you the right way to act and react, he gives you the tools you need to make the correct choices, but in the end, all of the choices you make, they are yours to make. He allows you to make your decisions, and allows you to live with and deal with the consequences. But he is also there for you when you need him, (he is there for you always) he comforts you and supports you always, and unconditionally.