Where have I been???

The other day I realized that I am not doing right by my kids right now. Here lately I have been not happy, and while I have been here physically for my kids, I haven't really been here mentally for them. I get up and do the minimum that needs to be done here at home and for the kids. But anything else, I really havent been here mentally.

I just wanted to be alone and left alone, and sit and stew in my unhappiness. I couldnt wait for bedtime, because then that meant I wouldnt have to pretend to be paying attention. Its all because right now, it has been a hard holiday for me, with my husband so far away, and not being able to talk to him that often, and having a new baby - and all the crazy hormone swings that go with it, and just everything else piled on top of it. And while I have the right to be sad and what not, it isnt my kids fault, and I don't have the right to take it out on them so to speak.

So now I am trying to pull myself out of this depression, I guess you would call it. So tomorrow is a new day and a new year. So I am giving myself tonight to still be sad and what not, and then tomorrow it has to stop. Its time to stop sulking and get on with life. Plus this month (January) is the beginning of the crazy time, and I need to get in the right mind set for it.

Although I am listening to my brother in law, who is a dj for a radio station where my husband is, and it is helping me smile through the tears :) (anyone who is interested, you can listen to estereo liberacion here)

Anyway, that is what has been going on with me, and why I haven't been online. I am working on my resolutions, and *hopefully* I will be posting them tomorrow. Lets see how well that works out, LOL seeing as how I have a post from Christmas that I have been *working* on since last Tuesday, so who knows, LOL.