Being Blessed

When we decided that I would come to the US, Lale and I made a game plan. Ok, I made the game plan (I am all about making lists and having plans - he is all about just tell him what to do and it gets done - sort of) but we agreed on what needed to be done. So besides coming to the US to have the baby, I also came to work for 3 months to make some extra money so that we could finish some things that needed to be done on the house.

Here lately though I have been feeling frustrated because things just arent going the way that I wanted them to, nor as I planned. I knew before I got here, that there just werent alot of hours at work, so I knew that I wouldn't be making tons of money. But I still had my plan. I wanted the back porch finished, I wanted a pila, (no I NEED a pila), I wanted to put tile on the floor - I promised Mickey I would do that for her, and if there was enough money after that, then there was some other things on my honey do list.

Well I went to work, with my list placed on the first page of my calendar/day planner so that whenever I was missing my kids, I could look at the list and know that I was doing something for us. Each paycheck, and my taxes were sent home, and things were getting done. The only thing was, it wasn't anything on my list. Other things came up, and talking to Lale, we decided that the money was better spent on some other things. And school for Isa and Mickey, with the uniforms, books, and what seems like weekly extras has taken up a bit more than I had planned for. (for all those weekly incidentals). And I didn't take into consideration that I also had to use that money to take care of my household here - food, school stuff for Jordan and Andre, clothes for them both etc. etc.

Add to that, that Ari came 5 weeks early, which meant that I am not able to work those last 4 weeks that I was going to work, which means I am out close to $1000. And that just got added onto the stress. Now I had to get stuff for Ari, clothes for Johan, Isa, Mick and Lana, and some stuff that I had on my list for the house. Plus I have to send this box of stuff down. All of that takes money, and that money is no longer coming in. And it is frustrating. Beyond frustrating. That frustration (and I am sure being hormonal after having a baby didn't help either, LOL) began to eat away at me too. I was thinking about how I am up here for nothing - other than health care for me and the baby - but that I wasted all of that time working, and for what. 4 cows and another truck? (the money went to more than that - but that was what I Was focusing on). Why couldn't Lale just do as I asked and finish the back porch/build the pila/buy the tile etc. etc. It didn't matter that I was in agreement that we spent the money on other thing, I just focused on what I didn't have. What wasn't done.

Then a couple of days ago, I came across a blog post in my google reader. A post on the Hayes blog. It is titled A Borrowed Thought. I read it, and it made me cry. It made me realize how very truely blessed I am. When Ari was born, I really didn't have anything for her. I had 2 outfits I think. And they were to big - since at 34 weeks she was approx 6 pounds, we had bought a couple of 3 month clothing knowing she would be big (I mean she still had 6 weeks to grow!). But other than some to big clothes, bottles, a can of formula and a boppy pillow, I had nothing for her. My mom took some money and got me a couple of onsies that would fit her, and my friend Carrie, and my sister in law Gloria each brought me some clothes for her when they came to visit at the hospital. The clothes they brought are to big for her now, but she will grow into them soon. And they will be great for Honduras too. I then remembered that I had some cousins that had some premies, maybe I could get a couple of outfits to tide me over until Ari was big enough to fit into the clothes that we have. So I sent them an email asking if they had a bouncy seat (mom sold mine while I was in Honduras), a monitor, and maybe a couple of peices of premie clothes. I got a yes from them, and an offer for baby clothes bigger than premies. And Jennie, whom I love dearly, and who has basically been my BFF since we met back in Feb 2006, when we were both pregnant, she sent me a HUGE box of onsies, and a couple of outfits of clothes that range from newborn up to 6-9 months. I am so blessed. God does provide.

On Monday, when I went to KFC to pick up my check, I got some lunch for me, mom and Levi to share, and while we were eating I said to her I have to get Johan some pants and shorts because his clothes don't fit, but I have to figure out where the money is coming from. Not five minutes later, my manager, Danielle, asked me if I knew anyone, or if I could use boys clothes size 5T and up, because she was going through her sons clothes and had a couple of trash bags filled with jeans and shorts and some shirts that she would gladly give me. I told her yes, that was perfect for me for Johan. I figured that the 5 would be a bit big - he was a 3T when I left, but we would have them to grow into, and I could get away with just buying a couple of pair of shorts. Well, I called and talked to the kids today, and I asked my neice to check Johans pant's and guess what size they are. Thats right, a 5T. It looks like I need to buy nothing for Johan either. I am blessed. God does provide.

Also reading that blog post from the Hayes, it made me realize, once again, that there is a reason for everything. And while things are not getting done according to MY plan, they are getting done according to HIS plan. Tile on the floor, well that money will come when it is time - again He does provide.