CLARO Que Si? CLARO que NO!!

This is a long post, and I have left out a bunch of the story in effort to keep it semi short. Ha. short.

I know that I have mentioned, ok complained, about being out of touch with the world in the part of Honduras where we live. There is no TV, no cable, no land line telephones, no cell phone signals, nothing. And while its nice to not have to worry about whats on TV, getting hooked on a show, etc. etc. its also nice to have a choice. Because let me tell you, it doesnt matter if you have 4 or 400 or more than 400 DVD's, they get old. Quick. Trust me, I speak from experience.

So last year I was driving around Tocoa, and was so excited to see a SKY cable office, that I pulled right in. I got out, talked to the guy and picked up some paperwork. I so wanted to sign up then and there, but the price was high. $75ish/month plus either buying the dish and boxes at a almost $600, or renting them each month. So I went home talked to Lale, and said while I was in the US in January I would see if I couldn't figure out how to make it work.

I was talking to Patty, and she told me about Claro's satelite, and that they had signed up for it. The price was half that of SKY, and they had the basic set up of channels that we wanted, so I decided that when I got back to Honduras I would check into it.

So after I got back to Honduras, got everything straightened out with the kids - uniforms bought, got them re-enrolled in school etc. etc. I took a day and went to the Claro office. That is when the fun began. The first trip to the office was in February. February 12th to be exact. I went in and there were two people in the office. A lady, and a guy. I got to deal with the lady. So I explained to her what I wanted, made sure that if for some reason there was no signal where we live, I would not be held accountable for a contract/payment for two years (I mean we are in Honduras after all) we started the paperwork. Now this woman wasn't pleasant, but I didnt say anything. Sometimes people have a bad day. When it came time for me to show my ID, I pulled out my passport and thats when she said that I needed to put it in someones elses name. I understood, since I dont have my residency papers yet, it was no biggie. So we stopped the paperwork, and I left. I went home and talked to Lale, and explained it all to him. So the next Wednesday, February 20th he went back with me and we signed up. However, this woman was still in her pissy mood, and started to get an attitude with me. Then she got to deal with Lale. Who also got in his pissy mood. I just sat back and shut up. I couldnt believe this woman, and everything that she was saying and doing. Not so much what, but how. This is a person who shouldn't be in customer service. At all.

Anyways, we finally got everything taken care of, and now all we had to do was wait for the installation. So we waited. And waited. Finally on Wednesday March 31st, Claro came. The installed the dish, the box and everything, got the tv on and I realized that we just have the basic channels. And we had originally signed up for the Total Package. Which comes with all of the channels. I mentioned it to the guy and he said we would hve to either call or go to the office in Tocoa, but we would have to wait until Tuesday since it is Semana Santa. (Holy Week). Ok, no biggie. So come Tuesday, I went down to the office and walked in and told the lady what was going on. In her most uppitiest voice she proceeded to tell me that she can't help me. I would have to call the customer service number. Ok, can you give it to me please. *SIGH* 2.....5, um, what? 2......5. Ok, mam, you need to really slow down just a bit while saying the numbers. *SIGH* 2054545. Ok, thank you.

So out to the car I go, sit down and call the customer service line. I get a lady on the hone and explain what is going on. Except she can't help me. Why? Because its in my husbands name. And even though I have all of his information to verify that I am part of the account, no dice. Plus she said, usually they dont fix this stuff on the phone, they do it in the office. Ugh.

I go home, talk to Lale, who luckily wasn't up the mountain that day. He agrees to go down the mountain with me to pick up the kids to get this worked out. So we are on our way back to Tocoa and he calls. He speaks to the same lady, tells her that I called, that I am allowed to speak for him about the account blah blah blah, then she says well the computers are down. Can you call back at x time. Geesh. Ok, so now its later in the day, and we make the phone call. They are asking him the security questions, he in turn is asking me what the answers are to the security questions, then repeating them back to the new person on the phone. (see CLARO, it would have been much simpler just to talk to me.) Ok, all is in order, we will get that fixed for you today and they hung up.

We go home, and YAY we have more channels. BOO, not all of them though. We have gone from the basic channels to the avanced package. But still no HBO or anything else. So the next day, I call back again, and get the original lady that we were speaking with. So I can't pretend to be my husband. She knows I am allowed to speak on his behalf, but wont do any changes. She sees where we were upgraded to the advanced and knows we want the total package. BUT SHE MUST SPEAK WITH HIM. I explained to her that where we live there is no cell phone signal, blah blah blah, that he works up the mountain, leaving at 4AM and sometimes not getting back home until after 5PM and she said well when he comes home for lunch why dont you come down the mountain and call. AARRGG. 20 minutes and all of my cell phone minutes trying to explain to his woman why it is impossible to get in touch with my husband on most days. We finally ended the call with her saying she will call him on his cell when she finds out whats going on. Um yeah, ok. good luck with that. Lale was going to go to Claro that weekend and try to see if he couldnt figure it out, but because I got into a car accident on that Friday, the car was unusable for a little over a week. So finally come the 19th, Lale and I go back to the office. I walk in, the lady says to me, What do you want, and I said, I want to deal with him, pointing to the other guy. He asked what was up, I explained the issue, he walks over to the computer, types in something, and says ok. You are all set. It will be there within 24 hours.

He then reminds me that we have to pay the cable bill for a year, which is no problem. Except they dont want to take my money. The first day I went to the office after installation, I tried to pay. Nope, no dice. You need a bill, and the computer hasn't generated one yet. Two other times I tried to pay, and same thing. So as soon as he said something Lale and I went over to where you pay the bill, and nope, no dice. No bill has been generated yet. Ok, whatever.

Now, here I am in the US, and Lale goes by to see if the bill has been generated yet, so that he can pay it. And they told him he had to pay it by May 18th. So he goes in, and tries to pay it. He is told he can't pay until a bill is generated. Except that the bill wont be generated until he pays. Umm, ok. So what is he supposed to do? Well just pay L9000 they told him, and it will all work out.

Thank GOD he called me, because 8 months * 729L/month does not come to L9000. Plus they were charging an installation fee AND the first months bill. We have a paper that says installation fee free, and first month free. So the next day he went back to pay it, (only what we owe) and to show them the paper. Well according to the lovely lady, that paper was for a special from 2009. Except the paper doesnt say to end x date, or only good till... AND they are still handing it out as of today. So he pitched a fit, and fought with the woman and they took off the installation fee and one months fee, the bill is paid through this year and all is good.

Except now they took away his HBO and other channels and he is back to the basic package. He called me today to tell me that. All I said was, I dont know what to tell you hun, you figure it out.

Ugh, I wish I could have afforded Sky.