Saturday, July 29, 2006

Family - by choice or not, they are yours

You know, I have this sister in law, and I don't know what to say about her. She is one of those rare breeds that every time they open their mouth crap comes out. On one hand I can say she is a sweetheart and means no harm, but on the other hand, damn, she is an adult, she should know to think before she talks. For as long as I can remember I have had to deal with her mouth, and her insults. And I am not the only one either. I do my best not to be anywhere near her or my brother, because I don't need to hear her crap, and I don't want to go off on her one day and say more than I should. Let me give you some examples, then tell you about my latest dealing with her.

Last year when Johan was born, on his right hand, his pointer finger and middle finger were fused together, and it was smaller than the left hand. He has something called symbrachydactyly. Which means that one hand is smaller than the other, and his two fingers are fused, and his arm and pec muscle is smaller than the other. He has a mild form of it, his hand if you look at it, you can tell it is smaller, but the length and his pec muscle you really can't tell unless you are really looking for the difference. (you can see a picture of his hand above - before his surgery) Anyway, a couple of hours after he was born, and they were doing x-rays, and I had no clue what was wrong, if anything, other than his hand was small, and it had fused fingers, so I was semi a mess, wanting my baby with me, and wanting to know what was going on. Well I was talking to my brother, and telling him what was going on, and what Johan's hand looked like, and he was repeating it to his wife, and her comment to him was to tell me that this is a sign that I should stop having babies. That this one has a birth defect, and any baby I have after this one would have a birth defect worse - basically each child would have more and more problems. What a bitch. If she would ahve gottne on the phone then, I really would have said something to her, with my hormones and everything. But my brother either thought that I didn't hear her, or was smart enough not to repeat it to me.

At 20 weeks, with this pregnancy I had low fluid, and had a grim prognoses for Jolani. I actually was told that I should really think about terminating her. (never would do that - no matter what the doctors say). Well my mother called her and told her that I was on bed rest and what not, and she told mom that she was going to call me. Well I called her first, just so that I could have control of the phone call, and she asked me what was wrong. Although my mother told her, so that I wouldn't have to deal with her, I still told her about my fluid being low. Dumb ass that she is said to me "Well maybe you didn't drink enough water before your sonogram, so you didn't have enough fluid in your bladder." Thank you Dr. Angie. DUH the baby doesn't live in the bladder. The low fluid is the amniotic fluid. Each time you talk to her it is one thing or the other.

So anyway, on Tuesday afternoon, I called them to tell them that I sent a picture of Jolani to their email, and asked me when. I told her about a half an hour ago. Oh she said. I am sorry that we didn't call you earlier, but we were on our way to NC for the weekend. I said call me for what? To tell you congratulations on the baby. Um, Angie, I just had the baby today. No you didn't she said, Scott (my brother - who, for future reference, I call Dickie - his name is Richard Scott) told me last week that you had your baby. I said well I should know, I pushed her out, with non working epidural just a couple of hours ago. Oh she said. Well is she healthy. (I knew this was coming) Yes she is perfect. She have all of her fingers and toes, Yes Angie, she has them all. She is perfect. Are they all seperated and everything? UUGG, couldn't you have just stopped while you were ahead? My mother said I should have told her "no they are all fused together, you know I give birth to ducks" and when my mother told her husband Rob, (who is a sweet guy - but with a rough exterior and who seems to be an eternal grump - but really isn't ) he said I should have asked her "Were you always an *sshole, or did you learn that growing up?"

So these past few days this last conversation with her has really been playing on my mind. I think I am going to say something to my brother about her. That way I don't go off on her, and he can do whatever he feels he needs to do. I am just going to tell him that I am tired of her mouth, and that it isn't long before I let her know how I feel. I am not going to ask him to do anything or anything like that. I just am giving him a heads up. If he wants to say something to her before hand, that is up to him. But I have had it. She is 35+ yrs or so, she is old enough to know better, and I am tired of everyone else biting their tongue when it comes to her, and everyone else just sucking it up. It is about time someone informed her of what she is doing, and held her accountable for it.

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