Preperation H and coconuts - what do they have in common?

When I thought about motherhood, I thought about the fun you can have playing with the kids, thought about watching them learn, and tons of other things. I never thought I would be saying things along the lines of...

• we don't eat paper
• pictures are not to be stored nor hidden in your mouth
• do not lick your sisters hair
• Preperation H is NOT for the mosquito bites on your foot - even if it does say its for itching and burning
• mustard is not conditioner
• we do not hang from the ceiling fans
• the correct term is testicles, not coconuts
• no the sentence "my brother really pests me off" is not using the word correctly (this was vocabulary homework where you had to write an appropriate sentence using the vocab words)
• take the string off your baby sister's neck - even though she crawls, she is not a dog
• why are there rotting limes in your closet?

And this is just to list a few. I swear God sent me my children not only to test my patience, but also to provide comic relief.